After already having lost 110 pounds, July 2006 saw me break the 190 barrier. As I was getting smaller, inevitably, the weight loss slowed down. I had been losing 3 -4 pounds per week but I noticed that I would be lucky if I lost 2 a week once I reached that threshold. I had fully prepared myself for this and understood it was likely to happen. I did not want it disheartening me so I carried on exercising as I had before, focusing on my strength and fitness as much as I could.
The dreaded scales
During the midst of my weight loss, I must admit I was weighing myself once every 3 days or so. Some might frown on this and I would too. I definitely do not advocate daily weigh ins as the number on the scaledoes not represent the full story. For women, your menstrual cycle can affect that figure because of water retention, hormonal fluctuations mean that you may be retaining more water one week whereby it could be gone the next. This can make the difference between 2 - 4 pounds. Nevertheless, I have a head for statistics and so kept detailed logs of weight loss throughout the 18 months as I knew I could look back and see exactly what I had achieved.
Ditch the scales, get that tape measure out!
Taking your body measurements is a far more representative gauge of what is happening. Inches tell the true story. This was something I did once a month, again keeping a detailed log of my shrinking vital statistics. In my previous post, I outlined my starting stats and finishing stats; minus 82 inches is A LOT of surface area! Get those tape measures out, try to move away from more than once weekly weigh ins. If you do weigh yourself daily, try to stop that if you can. Once a week should be more than ample and the less time you spend distracted by the scale, the more time you can put into exercising and really improving your health.
The scales can become obsessional, they should only ever be used as a guide. We all know that you can step on 2 different sets of scales and get wildly different readings. They do have their place as you lose weight, you just have to be mindful of the fact that they can become your worst enemy if you allow them to be.
I don't weigh myself at all now. I have an idea of what I weigh as I have learnt so much about my body and can listen to it successfully whereas I totally ignored it before. I can feel subtle changes in weight, fitness and impending illness. More importantly, I really do know when I am hungry now and I eat when I am. This might be midnight sometimes but it is a sensation I have become familiar with. Before, I was so out of touch with everything organic about me.
I work solely on how my clothes feel now. I will sometimes take my measurements but that only happens once a month or so. Having been in maintenance for so long, my attachment to the weighing scale is another unhealthy tie I have severed.
Almost there
As we moved into Autumn 2006 I had broken the 180 pound barrier. My weight plateaued for a few weeks during September of that year but an increase in my cardiovascular routine kick started a renewed loss. Plateaus are common, I view them as a chance for the body to take time to re adjust. You cannot consistently lose weight, especially starting where I did. From experience, breaking through a plateau requires a shake up of the exercise routine.
When you train seriously at sport/fitness, the hardest, most gruelling , tear inducing sessions will be the ones where you gain the most fitness. Taking your body out of it's comfort zone works wonders.
When I reached a plateau during my loss, especially when I was near 180 pounds, I pushed myself a little harder at the gym or went on a longer bike ride or a longer, hillier walk.
No more tears
With my smaller body came so many new and exciting bonuses; clothes shopping had become a joy rather than a chore, instead of feeling desperately depressed and getting down about it, I walked away excited about my size 14 skirt and top. Sitting next to people no longer worried me, my overspilling thighs were a shadow of their former selves and my upper body was much reduced. I could walk down the street and no one would pass comment, I swear I continued to listen out for it, even though I knew that it was not likely to happen. My social life was far improved, instead of being a virtual recluse I would actively suggest evenings out with friends, whether it be pubs or clubs. All in all the benefits far outweighed any draw backs, which were few.
Keep on runnin'
So Christmas came and went and we entered 2007. My weight stuck at around 175 for a little while but this was when I discovered something that would become a massive feature in my life and has been ever since
I walked a 2 mile route around where I lived at the time, this route was used more for speed walking sessions initially. This one afternoon, I returned from work and decided to head out as I had been sitting on my bum all day and needed to move. I set off, keeping up my usual pace for a few hundred yards but then something inside my head said, 'try a slow jog.' I listened to that voice and broke into a slow jog, managing to complete the 2 miles remarkably comfortably. I got back to the house and felt very pleased, I could run! Albeit slowly.
That would certainly not have been anything I could have contemplated doing before, the excess weight coupled with poor cardio conditioning would not have allowed it. But there I was, just under 180 pounds and I had just run the furthest I had ever run in my life! I felt elated! I think the consistent walk and gym work I had done for 16 months had really assisted in bringing my cardio fitness up to a level where I could handle running.
My older brother is an athlete and he has always been my inspiration, I have witnessed him do some hellish events and been in awe; marathons, triathlons, duathlons.
So this new love of running kicked in. I started to train most days, only short distances at first but I absolutely loved it. It was heavy going on my lungs initially but they started to respond as I found my comfort zone. Any weight plateau I was experiencing was smashed out of the water, by April 2007 I had reached goal. it was a momentus feeling, I had done it. I recall the morning I stepped on the scale and the red marker was bang on 160 pounds. It really was quite an emotional day, I had spent the best part of 2 years working my arse off (literally and figuratively); tears, tantrums, hundreds of miles of cardio, mostly careful food choices and there I stood, 141 pounds down, fitter than I had ever been and on goal.
So that was the easier part of the process complete. I would then face entering maintenance, the final part of it that would see me implementing for the rest of my life. Maintenance has not been easy at times and 160 pounds was not my finishing weight by any means, but more about that later.
Next time I will explain how the first part of maintenance panned out and the challenges that presented. I will also outline some exercise related physical challenges I took on that pushed by renewed body to the limit.
Enjoy the rest of your Sunday, wherever you might be in the world!
Rainy xx
Sunday, 30 October 2011
The mid way point of an epic challenge
I cannot claim that I was not enticed by unhealthy patterns of thought and behaviours as I continued to drop the weight. Old ghosts from weight loss past were out to haunt me but I was not going to give in, I began to exorcise them one by one. Whenever these crept up on me, I was acutely aware and battled to overcome them. I think the most acute habit that tried to infiltrate my otherwise balanced approach was the urge to restrict my food intake. I noted also that, if I had a bad day at work or just a bad day generally, this urge kicked in even
moreso. I think before, that same urge manifested itself in binges as I outlined in earlier posts and I used these as a coping mechanism. Now it had turned itself on it's head and gone to the other extreme. Luckily, whenever I felt like I may not meet my calorie intake for the day, I would consciously eat a small meal so I was bridging that deficit. This did not happen all the time but, when it did, I was finally in control of it. They say you have to make mistakes to learn, never was a truer word spoken.
As you are all probably aware, losing weight can be a rush. The more you lose, the more of a kick you get out of it. It can be an addiction all of its own. One of the crucial parts of the process is control. You have to own it and control it rather than it doing that to you. Self awareness is vital, identifying your unhealthy thought processes and dealing with them is key.
Another mistake people make is feeling like they have failed if there is a day where they are not so good. This is not a fail, this is part of the wider process and a crucial part at that. I still had days, early on especially when I binged. Not to the gargantuan degree I would before but still a binge. I admit I felt guilty and bad when it happened but the difference this time was I got back on the horse and carried on the next day, perhaps being extra specially careful to make up for it. I was also conscious that my exercise would be off setting days like that to some degree.
Letting go of the bingeing was tough, it had been my crutch for so long but I was able to sever those ties, one by one.
Short term goals
Another fantastic plan I adopted was setting myself mini goals. When your starting weight is 301 pounds, there is little point in saying 'I want to be 150 pounds in 2 years time.' It does nothing for the morale in terms of believing that it can be achieved. Instead I set 28 pound goal increments. Specific dates were not so important as I did not want to assert any undue pressure on myself but I would say, just for example 'so I want to reach 190 pounds by mid June 2006.' These short term goals were achievable in my head and far more manageable than having one, overall long term goal. Of course I had that too (the overall goal had always been 160 pounds initially, this seemed reasonable and achievable.) I chose not to place too much emphasis on it. That is one massive gauntlet to throw down! To be honest, I don't think I could go through that kind of weight loss again. It did drain me mentally, physically and
emotionally. That was most certainly a once in a lifetime achievement and massive incentive for me to never allow that kind of weight to return ever again.
Getting there
As I breached the 200 pound mark during June 2006, there was massive cause for celebration and I felt so proud of myself. My partner at the time took me out for a meal and I treated myself to some chips and a steak. The exercise was going really well at that point, I started playing badminton once a week, just to keep things interesting and I savoured the feeling of not being so self conscious as I darted around the court. I was still carrying and extra 50 pounds or so but, having already dropped over 100, it was small change in comparison.
The exercise obsession of old had been replaced by a structured plan that saw me do around an hour a day, 6 days a week. As with any exercise plan, having a day off is important so your muscles can heal and I structured this in, forcing myself to take that day off.
Body metamorphosis
After my collar bone revelation and when I started moving toward 190 pounds during July of 2006, I noticed my legs and backside was getting smaller. The junk in my trunk was being streamlined! That summer was memorable, mainly due to the fact that I was no longer the sweaty mess I had been for 5 years. I still sweated but no where near as much. Chafing was still happening a little bit on really hot days but it was no where near as severe as before. It really was a voyage of discovery for me, euphoric at times as I realised that everything was falling in to place, it felt right this time. A far more relaxed, natural process. I was brimming with confidence and knew anything was possible.
Tough days still plagued me but I was well equipped to deal with them, having done things sensibly. They became fewer and farther between and the body was definitely settling into the new lifestyle. Along with my Friday take away treat, I allowed myself the odd can of coke or chocolate bar. I am a bit of a candy fiend and so it was really nice to indulge this passion once in a while without feeling the need to buy a whole multi pack and wolf it down in one sitting.
Terminal damage
My long term partner continued to support me, although our relationship had been put under a lot of strain. I had to be fixated by getting the weight off, focus and hard work were the only option which is why I achieved what I did. There was fallout, I openly admit that my relationship was one thing that suffered. That's not to say there were obvious cracks in the veneer anyway, I guess my weight loss goals exacerbated those cracks.
But, despite the fact I rarely talk to my ex partner now, I am eternally grateful to him for the unwavering support he gave me. When we first started dating back in 1999 I was a smaller 140 pounds and, from the moment we met, we found a common love of food. I think it was how we bonded initially. I remember we used to have cheese fondues once a week (the epitomy of cholesterol heaven) and meals out at various country pubs.
I think we all know that, once the honeymoon period of a new relationship is over, it seems very common that one or both people in the relationship will gain weight. We get comfortable, we are no longer on the market and trying to attract a mate so feel less pressure to look a certain way (although this is my own reasoning as to why this happens.) He saw me go from a spritely, energetic girl to a morbidly obese, sad one. Not once did he berate me for my size, he said he would love me, even if I got so big the fire brigade had to knock the walls of the flat down to get me out. (This was always said with a wry smile ;) )
Too many times I have heard of women whose partners/ husbands pass judgement and comments about their weight. These men are ignorant and insensitive. Enough said about that.
Next time I will continue to describe the final stage of my main weight loss, sub 190 pounds.
It is 04:00 and I am awake, I must get some sleep. Brain disengage!
Rainy xxx
moreso. I think before, that same urge manifested itself in binges as I outlined in earlier posts and I used these as a coping mechanism. Now it had turned itself on it's head and gone to the other extreme. Luckily, whenever I felt like I may not meet my calorie intake for the day, I would consciously eat a small meal so I was bridging that deficit. This did not happen all the time but, when it did, I was finally in control of it. They say you have to make mistakes to learn, never was a truer word spoken.
As you are all probably aware, losing weight can be a rush. The more you lose, the more of a kick you get out of it. It can be an addiction all of its own. One of the crucial parts of the process is control. You have to own it and control it rather than it doing that to you. Self awareness is vital, identifying your unhealthy thought processes and dealing with them is key.
Another mistake people make is feeling like they have failed if there is a day where they are not so good. This is not a fail, this is part of the wider process and a crucial part at that. I still had days, early on especially when I binged. Not to the gargantuan degree I would before but still a binge. I admit I felt guilty and bad when it happened but the difference this time was I got back on the horse and carried on the next day, perhaps being extra specially careful to make up for it. I was also conscious that my exercise would be off setting days like that to some degree.
Letting go of the bingeing was tough, it had been my crutch for so long but I was able to sever those ties, one by one.
Short term goals
Another fantastic plan I adopted was setting myself mini goals. When your starting weight is 301 pounds, there is little point in saying 'I want to be 150 pounds in 2 years time.' It does nothing for the morale in terms of believing that it can be achieved. Instead I set 28 pound goal increments. Specific dates were not so important as I did not want to assert any undue pressure on myself but I would say, just for example 'so I want to reach 190 pounds by mid June 2006.' These short term goals were achievable in my head and far more manageable than having one, overall long term goal. Of course I had that too (the overall goal had always been 160 pounds initially, this seemed reasonable and achievable.) I chose not to place too much emphasis on it. That is one massive gauntlet to throw down! To be honest, I don't think I could go through that kind of weight loss again. It did drain me mentally, physically and
emotionally. That was most certainly a once in a lifetime achievement and massive incentive for me to never allow that kind of weight to return ever again.
Getting there
As I breached the 200 pound mark during June 2006, there was massive cause for celebration and I felt so proud of myself. My partner at the time took me out for a meal and I treated myself to some chips and a steak. The exercise was going really well at that point, I started playing badminton once a week, just to keep things interesting and I savoured the feeling of not being so self conscious as I darted around the court. I was still carrying and extra 50 pounds or so but, having already dropped over 100, it was small change in comparison.
The exercise obsession of old had been replaced by a structured plan that saw me do around an hour a day, 6 days a week. As with any exercise plan, having a day off is important so your muscles can heal and I structured this in, forcing myself to take that day off.
Body metamorphosis
After my collar bone revelation and when I started moving toward 190 pounds during July of 2006, I noticed my legs and backside was getting smaller. The junk in my trunk was being streamlined! That summer was memorable, mainly due to the fact that I was no longer the sweaty mess I had been for 5 years. I still sweated but no where near as much. Chafing was still happening a little bit on really hot days but it was no where near as severe as before. It really was a voyage of discovery for me, euphoric at times as I realised that everything was falling in to place, it felt right this time. A far more relaxed, natural process. I was brimming with confidence and knew anything was possible.
Tough days still plagued me but I was well equipped to deal with them, having done things sensibly. They became fewer and farther between and the body was definitely settling into the new lifestyle. Along with my Friday take away treat, I allowed myself the odd can of coke or chocolate bar. I am a bit of a candy fiend and so it was really nice to indulge this passion once in a while without feeling the need to buy a whole multi pack and wolf it down in one sitting.
Terminal damage
My long term partner continued to support me, although our relationship had been put under a lot of strain. I had to be fixated by getting the weight off, focus and hard work were the only option which is why I achieved what I did. There was fallout, I openly admit that my relationship was one thing that suffered. That's not to say there were obvious cracks in the veneer anyway, I guess my weight loss goals exacerbated those cracks.
But, despite the fact I rarely talk to my ex partner now, I am eternally grateful to him for the unwavering support he gave me. When we first started dating back in 1999 I was a smaller 140 pounds and, from the moment we met, we found a common love of food. I think it was how we bonded initially. I remember we used to have cheese fondues once a week (the epitomy of cholesterol heaven) and meals out at various country pubs.
I think we all know that, once the honeymoon period of a new relationship is over, it seems very common that one or both people in the relationship will gain weight. We get comfortable, we are no longer on the market and trying to attract a mate so feel less pressure to look a certain way (although this is my own reasoning as to why this happens.) He saw me go from a spritely, energetic girl to a morbidly obese, sad one. Not once did he berate me for my size, he said he would love me, even if I got so big the fire brigade had to knock the walls of the flat down to get me out. (This was always said with a wry smile ;) )
Too many times I have heard of women whose partners/ husbands pass judgement and comments about their weight. These men are ignorant and insensitive. Enough said about that.
Next time I will continue to describe the final stage of my main weight loss, sub 190 pounds.
It is 04:00 and I am awake, I must get some sleep. Brain disengage!
Rainy xxx
Thursday, 27 October 2011
Doing things differently; the penny finally dropped
Isn't it amazing the lengths people will go to lose weight. Faddy diets, obsessive exercise, starvation, purging, pills, supplements... even amphetamines!!
What is even crazier is that most of us know what we need to do to lose weight the healthy, natural way but it seems that half the time our rational, logical heads crash out of the window just when we need them most. If we are fully realistic then we should realise that healthy weight loss takes time and a bucket load of patience. The calculations are pretty simple on the whole and can be applied to most (but not all;) input vs output.
As an interjection to this post, I wanted to share with you my before and after vital stats. This gives you an idea of how much my body shape changed.
July 2005
Bust 44"
Waist 38"
Hips 56"
January 2011
Bust 35"
Waist 24 "
Hips 36"
We really do live in a 'I want it yesterday' culture and I think that can be partly attributed to the impatience we have with losing weight the au naturel way. I don't want you thinking I am getting on my high horse, I myself have not dieted sensibly historically, at least prior to my big weight loss. I have broken every rule in the book; purging (bulimia), starving myself, obsessively exercising. I have been to Weight Watchers, tried Slim Fast and none of these things have worked. Sure, I would drop some weight in the first few months but that kind of unbalanced diet will bite you in the butt eventually. I was your classic yo yo dieter; lose 10 pounds gain 20 back.
The penny dropped in 2005 and reality hit home, FINALLY. I had reached such an excessive weight that I could not afford to sabotage any weight loss success by not doing things in a measured and controlled way. Thanks goodness personal experience had taught me that 'extreme' dieting does not work. I knew it was make or break, the weight gain was in free fall and I felt like I had to reign it in otherwise I would be in serious trouble.
THE change
Healthy eating was a whole new world to me. At 301 pounds, I decided to plan how I was going to tackle the loss in a sustainable way. No more fannying around! My body had become a burden, this biological vessel was sinking and I wanted to abandon ship.
So I did some reading and armed myself with information. My knowledge of calorie intake and nutrition has always been pretty sound (ironically enough) although you would have not known it prior to 2006.
I structured an eating plan that would see me reduce my daily intake to 1500 calories initially. Considering I had been topping 3,000 some days, this was a dramatic reduction. I was mindful that I had to make sure the calories I did have were useful ones that would keep me full so I was less likely to crave the sweet, fatty, calorific foods I had been so accustomed to. I was careful to include porridge for breakfast, brown carbs for dinner (brown rice or pasta) with protein such as fish or chicken. Lunch would be a salad of some description ( always with a little bit of protein in there) and nuts.
I would snack on fruit and nuts If I felt at all peckish. For the first 6 months I was very strict, in my mind it is better to have no temptation at all and go cold turkey, at least for a while. For the first few months I was dropping impressive amounts of weight, around 22 pounds or so in one month alone. I think some of this was the release of fluid retention which is common. Along with the healthier eating, I had started to exercise from the first day I committed really. It started with 2 mile bike rides (at a very slow pace), gym sessions that consisted of walking on the treadmill, rowing and cycling and also walks around my local area, 3 times a week. This carried on for a few months as I did suffer some acute joint pain to begin with, not surprising considering the load that was impacting my joints couple with my hyper mobility condition.
Frustration
I distinctly remember one occassion where I was doing my 3 mile circuit walk. I must have been a month or so into the weight loss and I had got to the mile long hill that was in the middle of the route. Half way up and I started to cry. I can remember I found that hill incredibly hard going at the best of times, my heart would pound out of my chest, my calves would burn with lactic acid and the sweat poured down my face and back. I stood there in the rain and wept. I felt so frustrated, I thought about giving up and not bothering. I recall looking down at my massive thighs and feeling desperate for things to change quicker than they were. Patience Lorraine, Rome was not built in a day! I cannot really see why I was feeling so down, the weight had been coming off steadily and I had started to see a difference but I think it had all caught up with me. Nevertheless, I dug deep and plugged away. The commitment required to lose that kind of weight is pretty epic. There were so many occassions I could have screamed through sheer tiredness, frustration and disgust at myself but there was no room for self pity. I fully accepted it was my fault and my fault alone so it was down to ME to sort it out.
Getting there
After 6 months or so, I had dropped down from 301 pounds to around 215 pounds and I think that first 6 months saw the biggest weight loss in terms of dropping fat. It took a further 3 months of continuing the 1500 calories a day and regular exercise for me to really start seeing a difference in my body shape. As the exercise began to take effect, my cardio vascular system improved and so the walks lengthened and the gym sessions became tougher. Naturally I was responding to my increasing fitness levels and was pushing things harder without really realising. After 6 months I also relaxed the diet a bit and started to introduce treats back into the mix. I allowed myself one take away a week, on a Friday. I could have a chinese, indian or even a kebab but I made sure I chose healthier options from the menu....yes, it is possible! Instead of battered chicken I would go for boiled and instead of egg fried rice I would go for boiled rice. I looked forward to my little treats on a Friday and it meant that I did not feel so cheated out of the foods that had got me to 301 pounds in the first place. I still say that complete deprivation leads to failure...eventually. Don't deny yourself the things you like, just be sensible about it.
Gastronomic heroine
Weaning yourself off junk food is like weaning yourself off a drug in many respects. The body becomes accustomed to sugar and fat and so cutting that out of the diet can leave you craving the quick fix energy you would usually get. BUT the body does get used to it. I found that, after those first 6 months, my cravings for sugar had all but died a death. Initially, I did find it hard but I tried to supplement the chocolate and candy with grapes and strawberries. It did work although I suffered some withdrawl symptoms in the form of mood swings and tiredness. I remember the tipping point was when I walked into a local shop and saw my favourite sweets and chocolate bars in their shiny, inviting wrappers. I had absolutely no desire to buy one, instead choosing a bottle of flavoured mineral water. Which reminds me, I knocked back criminal amounts of coca cola when I was at my biggest. Again, I had to wean myself away from that (caffeine) but I replaced it with fizzy, flavoured mineral waters. It really did the trick, I was still getting the carbonated sensation in my mouth but I was consuming a fraction of the calories and still enjoying my fizzy drinks. Another useful tip.
Visual changes
So as we moved into the spring of 2006, I was starting to see the weight loss slow down somewhat. Perfectly understandable but I did not really hit any unbreakable plateaus. I can totally attribute this to the increasingly hard workouts I was doing. I went from being able to row for 5 minutes to rowing 20 at a time and my gym sessions were really starting to pay off. I recall that I really started noticing the weight loss in my face and shoulders. The soft layer of fat that had covered my collar bones was starting to disappear and, whilst getting ready for work one morning, I noticed there was some definition there. I could actually see my collar bones for the first time in years! Small steps but I felt really chuffed. My waist was shrinking as had my cloth size. I think I managed to drop 8 dress sizes in 9 months. Not bad going considering. I went from a UK size 24 (US 20) July 2005 down to a UK size 16 (US 12) by April of 2006. It proved to be a rather costly process, I had to keep down sizing my wardrobe but that was a small price to pay for the effects I was seeing.
People I had not seen for ages were shocked when they bumped into me. Some people even walked straight past me, deeming me totally unrecognisable. The nasty, fat comments had stopped and I even started to get some compliments. I cannot describe how much better I felt, my complexion was clearer, my energy levels were higher and I wanted to go out and socialise, be more active and enjoy life again. It was such a relief.
What I have written thus far in this post really does not do the hard work justice, I don't think a books worth of explaination could truly represent what I went through. It was bloody hard at times and I cannot tell you the number of occassions I could have happily jacked it in. I am fortunate in that I am incredibly stubborn and determined, when I put my mind to something I can really push out all the stops to achieve goals I set myself. Much of the emotion I felt was anger with myself, anger that I had allowed things to get so dire, anger that I had wasted most of my twenties (essentially the prime of my life) being fat and hiding away from the world. I felt like I had awoken from some strange, hypnotic state. I could stand back and totally see the extent of what I had done to my body.
In the next post I will describe how the weight loss continued and how my body really started to change. Had I not exercised the way I did, I really don't believe that I would be where I am today. More of that later....
I just hope this gives you a snippet of insight into what it was like
G'nite!
Rainy xxx
What is even crazier is that most of us know what we need to do to lose weight the healthy, natural way but it seems that half the time our rational, logical heads crash out of the window just when we need them most. If we are fully realistic then we should realise that healthy weight loss takes time and a bucket load of patience. The calculations are pretty simple on the whole and can be applied to most (but not all;) input vs output.
As an interjection to this post, I wanted to share with you my before and after vital stats. This gives you an idea of how much my body shape changed.
July 2005
Bust 44"
Waist 38"
Hips 56"
January 2011
Bust 35"
Waist 24 "
Hips 36"
We really do live in a 'I want it yesterday' culture and I think that can be partly attributed to the impatience we have with losing weight the au naturel way. I don't want you thinking I am getting on my high horse, I myself have not dieted sensibly historically, at least prior to my big weight loss. I have broken every rule in the book; purging (bulimia), starving myself, obsessively exercising. I have been to Weight Watchers, tried Slim Fast and none of these things have worked. Sure, I would drop some weight in the first few months but that kind of unbalanced diet will bite you in the butt eventually. I was your classic yo yo dieter; lose 10 pounds gain 20 back.
The penny dropped in 2005 and reality hit home, FINALLY. I had reached such an excessive weight that I could not afford to sabotage any weight loss success by not doing things in a measured and controlled way. Thanks goodness personal experience had taught me that 'extreme' dieting does not work. I knew it was make or break, the weight gain was in free fall and I felt like I had to reign it in otherwise I would be in serious trouble.
THE change
Healthy eating was a whole new world to me. At 301 pounds, I decided to plan how I was going to tackle the loss in a sustainable way. No more fannying around! My body had become a burden, this biological vessel was sinking and I wanted to abandon ship.
So I did some reading and armed myself with information. My knowledge of calorie intake and nutrition has always been pretty sound (ironically enough) although you would have not known it prior to 2006.
I structured an eating plan that would see me reduce my daily intake to 1500 calories initially. Considering I had been topping 3,000 some days, this was a dramatic reduction. I was mindful that I had to make sure the calories I did have were useful ones that would keep me full so I was less likely to crave the sweet, fatty, calorific foods I had been so accustomed to. I was careful to include porridge for breakfast, brown carbs for dinner (brown rice or pasta) with protein such as fish or chicken. Lunch would be a salad of some description ( always with a little bit of protein in there) and nuts.
I would snack on fruit and nuts If I felt at all peckish. For the first 6 months I was very strict, in my mind it is better to have no temptation at all and go cold turkey, at least for a while. For the first few months I was dropping impressive amounts of weight, around 22 pounds or so in one month alone. I think some of this was the release of fluid retention which is common. Along with the healthier eating, I had started to exercise from the first day I committed really. It started with 2 mile bike rides (at a very slow pace), gym sessions that consisted of walking on the treadmill, rowing and cycling and also walks around my local area, 3 times a week. This carried on for a few months as I did suffer some acute joint pain to begin with, not surprising considering the load that was impacting my joints couple with my hyper mobility condition.
Frustration
I distinctly remember one occassion where I was doing my 3 mile circuit walk. I must have been a month or so into the weight loss and I had got to the mile long hill that was in the middle of the route. Half way up and I started to cry. I can remember I found that hill incredibly hard going at the best of times, my heart would pound out of my chest, my calves would burn with lactic acid and the sweat poured down my face and back. I stood there in the rain and wept. I felt so frustrated, I thought about giving up and not bothering. I recall looking down at my massive thighs and feeling desperate for things to change quicker than they were. Patience Lorraine, Rome was not built in a day! I cannot really see why I was feeling so down, the weight had been coming off steadily and I had started to see a difference but I think it had all caught up with me. Nevertheless, I dug deep and plugged away. The commitment required to lose that kind of weight is pretty epic. There were so many occassions I could have screamed through sheer tiredness, frustration and disgust at myself but there was no room for self pity. I fully accepted it was my fault and my fault alone so it was down to ME to sort it out.
Getting there
After 6 months or so, I had dropped down from 301 pounds to around 215 pounds and I think that first 6 months saw the biggest weight loss in terms of dropping fat. It took a further 3 months of continuing the 1500 calories a day and regular exercise for me to really start seeing a difference in my body shape. As the exercise began to take effect, my cardio vascular system improved and so the walks lengthened and the gym sessions became tougher. Naturally I was responding to my increasing fitness levels and was pushing things harder without really realising. After 6 months I also relaxed the diet a bit and started to introduce treats back into the mix. I allowed myself one take away a week, on a Friday. I could have a chinese, indian or even a kebab but I made sure I chose healthier options from the menu....yes, it is possible! Instead of battered chicken I would go for boiled and instead of egg fried rice I would go for boiled rice. I looked forward to my little treats on a Friday and it meant that I did not feel so cheated out of the foods that had got me to 301 pounds in the first place. I still say that complete deprivation leads to failure...eventually. Don't deny yourself the things you like, just be sensible about it.
Gastronomic heroine
Weaning yourself off junk food is like weaning yourself off a drug in many respects. The body becomes accustomed to sugar and fat and so cutting that out of the diet can leave you craving the quick fix energy you would usually get. BUT the body does get used to it. I found that, after those first 6 months, my cravings for sugar had all but died a death. Initially, I did find it hard but I tried to supplement the chocolate and candy with grapes and strawberries. It did work although I suffered some withdrawl symptoms in the form of mood swings and tiredness. I remember the tipping point was when I walked into a local shop and saw my favourite sweets and chocolate bars in their shiny, inviting wrappers. I had absolutely no desire to buy one, instead choosing a bottle of flavoured mineral water. Which reminds me, I knocked back criminal amounts of coca cola when I was at my biggest. Again, I had to wean myself away from that (caffeine) but I replaced it with fizzy, flavoured mineral waters. It really did the trick, I was still getting the carbonated sensation in my mouth but I was consuming a fraction of the calories and still enjoying my fizzy drinks. Another useful tip.
Visual changes
So as we moved into the spring of 2006, I was starting to see the weight loss slow down somewhat. Perfectly understandable but I did not really hit any unbreakable plateaus. I can totally attribute this to the increasingly hard workouts I was doing. I went from being able to row for 5 minutes to rowing 20 at a time and my gym sessions were really starting to pay off. I recall that I really started noticing the weight loss in my face and shoulders. The soft layer of fat that had covered my collar bones was starting to disappear and, whilst getting ready for work one morning, I noticed there was some definition there. I could actually see my collar bones for the first time in years! Small steps but I felt really chuffed. My waist was shrinking as had my cloth size. I think I managed to drop 8 dress sizes in 9 months. Not bad going considering. I went from a UK size 24 (US 20) July 2005 down to a UK size 16 (US 12) by April of 2006. It proved to be a rather costly process, I had to keep down sizing my wardrobe but that was a small price to pay for the effects I was seeing.
People I had not seen for ages were shocked when they bumped into me. Some people even walked straight past me, deeming me totally unrecognisable. The nasty, fat comments had stopped and I even started to get some compliments. I cannot describe how much better I felt, my complexion was clearer, my energy levels were higher and I wanted to go out and socialise, be more active and enjoy life again. It was such a relief.
What I have written thus far in this post really does not do the hard work justice, I don't think a books worth of explaination could truly represent what I went through. It was bloody hard at times and I cannot tell you the number of occassions I could have happily jacked it in. I am fortunate in that I am incredibly stubborn and determined, when I put my mind to something I can really push out all the stops to achieve goals I set myself. Much of the emotion I felt was anger with myself, anger that I had allowed things to get so dire, anger that I had wasted most of my twenties (essentially the prime of my life) being fat and hiding away from the world. I felt like I had awoken from some strange, hypnotic state. I could stand back and totally see the extent of what I had done to my body.
In the next post I will describe how the weight loss continued and how my body really started to change. Had I not exercised the way I did, I really don't believe that I would be where I am today. More of that later....
I just hope this gives you a snippet of insight into what it was like
G'nite!
Rainy xxx
Tuesday, 25 October 2011
It's what is on the inside that counts
Beauty is only skin deep, we merely scratch the surface of a person when we look at them. Visual beauty can mean different things to different people; attractive eyes, full lips, luscious hair, slim figure, curvy figure, large boobs, small boobs, manly arms, portly physique, muscly thighs. You catch my drift? Living in an image obsessed society and amongst a media that portrays beauty as this unrealistic, unachievable, flawless perfection presents problems. Everywhere you look, girls and guys peer back from the glossy pages of magazines, air brushed to within an inch of their life and totally misrepresenting reality. So many of us are exposed to an unseen but tangible pressure to aspire to this distortion.
In my mind, imperfections are what make us beautiful, little foibles in looks that set us aside from one another. How boring would the world be if we all looked like we had just stepped off of a catwalk. Ugh, that would be intensely dull. Every person walking this earth has something visually beautiful about them, I believe that and see it everyday.
It is in our nature to judge each other on initial appearance, we look and see every waking hour and so everyone we come across fall into that line of sight. There is a theory that we look for a partner who we feel are on the same level of attractiveness as us. We do this subconsciously apparently. Scientific studies have been conducted that prove we are attracted to people with balanced, symmetrical faces. So symmetry = visual beauty !
It's not the surface, it's what is in the interior
Of course the physical attractiveness can only get you so far. As we get to know a person, we delve deeper and learn about them, what makes them tick. Looks fade, personality doesn't. I have met people throughout my life that may not be deemed beautiful or handsome to look at but who exude confidence, charisma, wit and self assuredness. This is far more alluring and durable than a person who has a pretty face and great body but little in the way of character.
As I have mentioned in previous posts, it is also about how we carry ourselves. Body language is a fascinating subject and something that has been proven to affect the way we behave toward one another. People who are self conscious, paranoid and self aware might slouch their shoulders, drag their feet and deter others from approaching them. Conversely, someone who has a confident stride, a spring in their step and head held high are going to draw others into their space. Believe me, I have inadvertently tried and tested this myself!
Fat is not deemed attractive, pretty or beautiful in this vain society we inhabit. Fat is often seen as gross, ugly, a sign that someone has let themselves go. You don't see fat models on the majority of cat walks, you don't see fat people on bill boards or in magazines. I think it is a sad sign of the times that we place so much emphasis on physical looks. There are some stunningly attractive, curvaceous people out there.
Let's face it, it is all about confidence. It is a powerful trait and one that gets you far in life. Confidence can give you a ticket into almost anything.
Looks shouldn't really factor, we are all made of the same stuff it is just that we are formed slightly differently from one another.
A beautiful person has that beauty for a limited amount of time. A confident, vivacious person has that confidence indefinitely.
A relatively short one tonight, just another muse!
My next post will outline what I did to drop the weight both with my diet and my exercise. I hope this can offer some tips to those of you out there trying out different methods of losing weight...
Rainy xxx
In my mind, imperfections are what make us beautiful, little foibles in looks that set us aside from one another. How boring would the world be if we all looked like we had just stepped off of a catwalk. Ugh, that would be intensely dull. Every person walking this earth has something visually beautiful about them, I believe that and see it everyday.
It is in our nature to judge each other on initial appearance, we look and see every waking hour and so everyone we come across fall into that line of sight. There is a theory that we look for a partner who we feel are on the same level of attractiveness as us. We do this subconsciously apparently. Scientific studies have been conducted that prove we are attracted to people with balanced, symmetrical faces. So symmetry = visual beauty !
It's not the surface, it's what is in the interior
Of course the physical attractiveness can only get you so far. As we get to know a person, we delve deeper and learn about them, what makes them tick. Looks fade, personality doesn't. I have met people throughout my life that may not be deemed beautiful or handsome to look at but who exude confidence, charisma, wit and self assuredness. This is far more alluring and durable than a person who has a pretty face and great body but little in the way of character.
As I have mentioned in previous posts, it is also about how we carry ourselves. Body language is a fascinating subject and something that has been proven to affect the way we behave toward one another. People who are self conscious, paranoid and self aware might slouch their shoulders, drag their feet and deter others from approaching them. Conversely, someone who has a confident stride, a spring in their step and head held high are going to draw others into their space. Believe me, I have inadvertently tried and tested this myself!
Fat is not deemed attractive, pretty or beautiful in this vain society we inhabit. Fat is often seen as gross, ugly, a sign that someone has let themselves go. You don't see fat models on the majority of cat walks, you don't see fat people on bill boards or in magazines. I think it is a sad sign of the times that we place so much emphasis on physical looks. There are some stunningly attractive, curvaceous people out there.
Let's face it, it is all about confidence. It is a powerful trait and one that gets you far in life. Confidence can give you a ticket into almost anything.
Looks shouldn't really factor, we are all made of the same stuff it is just that we are formed slightly differently from one another.
A beautiful person has that beauty for a limited amount of time. A confident, vivacious person has that confidence indefinitely.
A relatively short one tonight, just another muse!
My next post will outline what I did to drop the weight both with my diet and my exercise. I hope this can offer some tips to those of you out there trying out different methods of losing weight...
Rainy xxx
Sunday, 23 October 2011
Admitting who I used to be
Did everyone have a nice Sunday? The night's are drawing in now and our clocks go back an hour as of next weekend so another hour of darkness blah! I need to get me a UV lamp for the next 5 months of winter!
I am now on the cusp of entering my fourth year of maintenance. Four years of being fitter and healthier, the memories of my fat body are edging away as each days passes. I will never ever forget the old me, how can I? I cannot deny the past and that unhappy, fat person certainly made an impact on me that will stay with me forever. She shaped who I am today. I am grateful to her in so many ways, despite that fat girl being depressive and sometimes victimised, she kept her dignity throughout and rarely dragged herself down to the level where her tormentors sat.
When I was at my largest, I spent a lot of time dreaming about being slimmer. The envy I felt of smaller people was suffocating at times. I would have done anything to have a fairy god mother wave a magic wand and remove the lard from my heavily laden physique.
There was no great escape from the chunk immediately, not even Harry Houdini could have staged such an impossible feat. But that unrelenting thought followed me everywhere, what a release and relief it would be to look and feel slimmer. What would it feel like? Would it really change my life? How would I look? I clung onto that dream throughout, only when I realised that my destiny was fully in my own hands did I finally do something about it. I knew that pills, shakes, starvation were not going to work. This time I would do it the right way, I owed my body that.
So the journey continues and will for the rest of my days. They sat that an ex smoker or drinker will always be an ex smoker and drinker, the vulnerability of returning to that vice is so much more heightened when you have that dependency before. It is no different with food.
Instead of being that fat girl looking ahead and wondering how it would feel to be slim, I am now that slimmer girl looking back and remembering what it felt like to be fat. As I started seriously with this blog (a work in progress whose words were first penned 4 years ago) I was forced to face up to my fat existence again. By making my journey public, I have moved forward with the emotional recovery even moreso. And it is recovery, I have been so preoccupied with the physical aspects of my dramatic loss that I have neglected to heal myself from the trials I have put my head through. My mind has been chock a block with self deprication, taunts, shame, determination, endurance...
Sounds heavy right? It is not meant to be, I have reaped so many rewards from this process but there are things I have not addressed, emotional barriers that I am finally crossing and the candidness I share with you here is assisting greatly with this.
Please may I introduce you to the old me...
My work colleagues have only known me as I am now, they know no different. I have outlined my weight loss to a couple of them but it is not common knowledge. Up until now, part of me felt that the fat person I once was is not someone I wanted to introduce them to. What would that achieve? They know me for who I am now and that is it. Perhaps I was ashamed of who I was, perhaps I was fearful that they would judge me because I allowed my weight to get so out of control? I am the same person I was then; had you put me in a room with them 6 years ago I still would have had my humour, adeptness at talking nonsense, ability to listen and share. The only difference now is I carry myself differently, confidence is transforming.
Perhaps I simply didn't tell them before because I felt like I would appear to be drawing attention to myself.
The other day and for the first time, I shared my fat picture with them. Understandably, they were shocked. My good friend even asked, 'who is that ?' initially.
I enlightened them to a synopsis of my story, their mouths were agog as I furnished them with the weight loss statistics. Hearing myself go over the numbers, I realise it does sound pretty crazy. Most of them reacted with things like, 'I would never have thought it','You look so much better, do you feel different?', 'What made you gain so much weight?' That last one is tricky to answer. Over eating and laziness are the most obvious answers but there was a lot more to it than that. it encompassed a very stressful, family related problem that saw me seek solace in the destructive hold of a food obsession that was over whelming.
So my secret is out! :) Telling them was a huge step for me, being able to comfortably go over what I have managed to achieve is rather liberating. I do feel like I have overcome a hurdle by sharing it with my work mates. Equally, I have found writing this blog very therapeutic and each entry is another small piece of the old me healing.
What are you trying to say?
You often hear people who do lose weight saying that they receive compliments from those around them who have noticed the change. It is always lovely to get a compliment and they should be embraced. What I have noticed some observationists say is 'Oh you look so much better' and similar comments. Without them meaning it to be, this is a bit of a back handed compliment don't you think? Were you insinuating I was rough before? Perhaps I am being over sensitive. In fact, I don't think that is a perhaps, it is a certainty!
Nevertheless, who wouldn't comment on such a physical change? I have looked on various weight loss/ support forums and seen some incredible before and after pictures. I love seeing other people's achievements and I think I have a special understanding and kinship with anyone who has had to battle the demons I have.
Here's to us! The people out there who REALLY know what it is like to suffer at the hands of obesity
Rainy xxx
I am now on the cusp of entering my fourth year of maintenance. Four years of being fitter and healthier, the memories of my fat body are edging away as each days passes. I will never ever forget the old me, how can I? I cannot deny the past and that unhappy, fat person certainly made an impact on me that will stay with me forever. She shaped who I am today. I am grateful to her in so many ways, despite that fat girl being depressive and sometimes victimised, she kept her dignity throughout and rarely dragged herself down to the level where her tormentors sat.
When I was at my largest, I spent a lot of time dreaming about being slimmer. The envy I felt of smaller people was suffocating at times. I would have done anything to have a fairy god mother wave a magic wand and remove the lard from my heavily laden physique.
There was no great escape from the chunk immediately, not even Harry Houdini could have staged such an impossible feat. But that unrelenting thought followed me everywhere, what a release and relief it would be to look and feel slimmer. What would it feel like? Would it really change my life? How would I look? I clung onto that dream throughout, only when I realised that my destiny was fully in my own hands did I finally do something about it. I knew that pills, shakes, starvation were not going to work. This time I would do it the right way, I owed my body that.
So the journey continues and will for the rest of my days. They sat that an ex smoker or drinker will always be an ex smoker and drinker, the vulnerability of returning to that vice is so much more heightened when you have that dependency before. It is no different with food.
Instead of being that fat girl looking ahead and wondering how it would feel to be slim, I am now that slimmer girl looking back and remembering what it felt like to be fat. As I started seriously with this blog (a work in progress whose words were first penned 4 years ago) I was forced to face up to my fat existence again. By making my journey public, I have moved forward with the emotional recovery even moreso. And it is recovery, I have been so preoccupied with the physical aspects of my dramatic loss that I have neglected to heal myself from the trials I have put my head through. My mind has been chock a block with self deprication, taunts, shame, determination, endurance...
Sounds heavy right? It is not meant to be, I have reaped so many rewards from this process but there are things I have not addressed, emotional barriers that I am finally crossing and the candidness I share with you here is assisting greatly with this.
Please may I introduce you to the old me...
My work colleagues have only known me as I am now, they know no different. I have outlined my weight loss to a couple of them but it is not common knowledge. Up until now, part of me felt that the fat person I once was is not someone I wanted to introduce them to. What would that achieve? They know me for who I am now and that is it. Perhaps I was ashamed of who I was, perhaps I was fearful that they would judge me because I allowed my weight to get so out of control? I am the same person I was then; had you put me in a room with them 6 years ago I still would have had my humour, adeptness at talking nonsense, ability to listen and share. The only difference now is I carry myself differently, confidence is transforming.
Perhaps I simply didn't tell them before because I felt like I would appear to be drawing attention to myself.
The other day and for the first time, I shared my fat picture with them. Understandably, they were shocked. My good friend even asked, 'who is that ?' initially.
I enlightened them to a synopsis of my story, their mouths were agog as I furnished them with the weight loss statistics. Hearing myself go over the numbers, I realise it does sound pretty crazy. Most of them reacted with things like, 'I would never have thought it','You look so much better, do you feel different?', 'What made you gain so much weight?' That last one is tricky to answer. Over eating and laziness are the most obvious answers but there was a lot more to it than that. it encompassed a very stressful, family related problem that saw me seek solace in the destructive hold of a food obsession that was over whelming.
So my secret is out! :) Telling them was a huge step for me, being able to comfortably go over what I have managed to achieve is rather liberating. I do feel like I have overcome a hurdle by sharing it with my work mates. Equally, I have found writing this blog very therapeutic and each entry is another small piece of the old me healing.
What are you trying to say?
You often hear people who do lose weight saying that they receive compliments from those around them who have noticed the change. It is always lovely to get a compliment and they should be embraced. What I have noticed some observationists say is 'Oh you look so much better' and similar comments. Without them meaning it to be, this is a bit of a back handed compliment don't you think? Were you insinuating I was rough before? Perhaps I am being over sensitive. In fact, I don't think that is a perhaps, it is a certainty!
Nevertheless, who wouldn't comment on such a physical change? I have looked on various weight loss/ support forums and seen some incredible before and after pictures. I love seeing other people's achievements and I think I have a special understanding and kinship with anyone who has had to battle the demons I have.
Here's to us! The people out there who REALLY know what it is like to suffer at the hands of obesity
Rainy xxx
Saturday, 22 October 2011
Quick fix society - can we really take short cuts?
It has been a few days since I last posted; car purchasing, annual leave from work and eating like food is going out of fashion have proven to be a large feature of my life this weekend. But the urge to write is upon me once again...
I decided to indulge my love of trashy magazines yesterday and bought Reveal (a fairly popular publication in the UK albeit much of the content centres around inane 'z' list celebrity nonsense.) There are some real life articles contained within and I came across one about a 336 pounds lady who had a gastric bypass operation and is now a worrying 84 pounds and perilously close to suffering heart failure. It transpires that whoever had performed the procedure had narrowed her stomach too much and, as a potentially deadly result, her body rejects food. She is literally starving to death so she is now hooked up to a drip that is pumping her failing body with the crucial vitamin and calories she needs. Apparently 1 in every 200 procedures has the potential to have complications.
Having lost my weight the natural way, it would be easy for me to sit here at this moment in time and pass judgement about this seemingly barbaric last resort. I know those feelings of gut wrenching desperation that can constantly plague a person when they are obese. You don't know where to start, the awful realisation sinks in that losing the weight will be arduous and time consuming. It does take a massive amount of will power and determination to stick with it. There is no overnight or quick solution as we know, even having a gastric bypass has far reaching repercussions on the patients body and lifestyle.
Imagine not being able to have a large meal ever again? Sitting down on a special occasion, letting your hair down and splurging. We have all done it, there is something deliciously naughty about it, especially if it becomes a rare treat rather than the norm. Once a gastric bypass operation has been performed, you are not physically able to take on anymore than a small cups worth of food at any sitting. You soon know if you have had too much as you will be reaquainted with that food as you vomit.
Is this to become a standard procedure I wonder? A procedure that is available to people who could lose the weight themselves, assuming they are given the support they need? I totally advocate it for the super morbidly obese, people whose bodies no longer functional in terms of exercise and people who are close to suffering serious medical complications because of their weight. I would just hate to see this kind of drastic action being abused in any way. Of course, it is ultimately down to the health professionals to draw up strict and controlled guidelines as to how they manage the requirement for this surgery and who should and should not be sanctioned it. I think that our doctors and health professionals really should focus more time and investment on weight loss coaching, perhaps this can be a better option within our doctors practices? Heavier people SHOULD have somewhere else to turn.
The implications are far reaching for the patients who do go ahead with the surgery. It helps them lose the weight but the sacrifices are massive and the recovery is prolonged in terms of retraining themselves to eat smaller portions and realising that gorging large meals is no longer an option.
Do we know if there are any physiological side effects? Only time will tell I guess but bariatric surgery is firmly in the public eye now. Raised awareness of it's existence means that more people will consider it as a resolution to their weight problems. I don't know whether it is the best way to go about such a life changing process for people who could do it naturally, should they be armed with the tools to do so.
Perhaps I am being short sighted? Nevertheless, as I said before, what works for one person might not for another. We are a mixed bunch, with that diversity comes different preferences and choices
R xxx
I decided to indulge my love of trashy magazines yesterday and bought Reveal (a fairly popular publication in the UK albeit much of the content centres around inane 'z' list celebrity nonsense.) There are some real life articles contained within and I came across one about a 336 pounds lady who had a gastric bypass operation and is now a worrying 84 pounds and perilously close to suffering heart failure. It transpires that whoever had performed the procedure had narrowed her stomach too much and, as a potentially deadly result, her body rejects food. She is literally starving to death so she is now hooked up to a drip that is pumping her failing body with the crucial vitamin and calories she needs. Apparently 1 in every 200 procedures has the potential to have complications.
Having lost my weight the natural way, it would be easy for me to sit here at this moment in time and pass judgement about this seemingly barbaric last resort. I know those feelings of gut wrenching desperation that can constantly plague a person when they are obese. You don't know where to start, the awful realisation sinks in that losing the weight will be arduous and time consuming. It does take a massive amount of will power and determination to stick with it. There is no overnight or quick solution as we know, even having a gastric bypass has far reaching repercussions on the patients body and lifestyle.
Imagine not being able to have a large meal ever again? Sitting down on a special occasion, letting your hair down and splurging. We have all done it, there is something deliciously naughty about it, especially if it becomes a rare treat rather than the norm. Once a gastric bypass operation has been performed, you are not physically able to take on anymore than a small cups worth of food at any sitting. You soon know if you have had too much as you will be reaquainted with that food as you vomit.
Is this to become a standard procedure I wonder? A procedure that is available to people who could lose the weight themselves, assuming they are given the support they need? I totally advocate it for the super morbidly obese, people whose bodies no longer functional in terms of exercise and people who are close to suffering serious medical complications because of their weight. I would just hate to see this kind of drastic action being abused in any way. Of course, it is ultimately down to the health professionals to draw up strict and controlled guidelines as to how they manage the requirement for this surgery and who should and should not be sanctioned it. I think that our doctors and health professionals really should focus more time and investment on weight loss coaching, perhaps this can be a better option within our doctors practices? Heavier people SHOULD have somewhere else to turn.
The implications are far reaching for the patients who do go ahead with the surgery. It helps them lose the weight but the sacrifices are massive and the recovery is prolonged in terms of retraining themselves to eat smaller portions and realising that gorging large meals is no longer an option.
Do we know if there are any physiological side effects? Only time will tell I guess but bariatric surgery is firmly in the public eye now. Raised awareness of it's existence means that more people will consider it as a resolution to their weight problems. I don't know whether it is the best way to go about such a life changing process for people who could do it naturally, should they be armed with the tools to do so.
Perhaps I am being short sighted? Nevertheless, as I said before, what works for one person might not for another. We are a mixed bunch, with that diversity comes different preferences and choices
R xxx
Sunday, 16 October 2011
Being lonely and internet dating
I have noticed that there are lots of people around me who are settling down, getting engaged, starting families. Both my brothers are in long term relationships with one being happily married.
I am 32 years old now so I guess I am going to notice these things more than I did 10 years ago. I don't necessarily want the kiddies side of it but I would really like to meet someone again, I think it's nigh time after a few false starts. Mr 'almost right' is out there somewhere, getting on with his day and blissfully unaware I even exist.
Enough of that :) The reason for this post is to outline my experience of internet dating. I have tried it a few times and have had little success thus far. Had you asked me to post images of myself online 6 years ago, there would have been more chance of me agreeing to a sex change than advertising myself visually.
Dating in the cyber world
So you join a dating website and are asked to write a bit about yourself (hobbies, interests. you know the drill.) Every site I have looked at has listed a small piece of text stating you stand a much higher chance of success if you post at least one picture of yourself. Hmmmm ok, fair enough. It does make sense to some degree, we are visually driven creatures in many respects.
But I used to feel slightly uncomfortable with this. Now I have no problems with posting pictures of myself but under internet dating circumstances? I cannot help but feel it is like an internet based cattle market. Do I really want to be completely judged at first glance, just because of the way I look? No! The me of old was filled with terror at this prospect. Intrinsically it seems wrong but then I have since reminded myself that the same thing happens when you go to a bar or a club. I don't have a portfolio of my good points and personality traits that I can hand to potential suitors, you see someone you fancy and make the move. I guess internet dating picks that side of it up when you actually agree to meet. Will there or won't there be chemistry?
We all have a 'type', mine happens to be alpha males; rich, swollen wallet (ok I KID)
So tall (at least 6'0", does that make me heightest?), dark haired preferably, stocky/ sporty, intelligent, above all else witty. See, there are certainly some physical requirements in there.
Testing the water
So when I first reached my goal weight, I had been single for a fairly short period of time. Having exited an 8 year relationship and being 'taken' for most of my twenties, dating was a daunting prospect. Nevertheless, I found a suitable dating website and proceeded to fill out the obligatory profile information. It is never easy writing about yourself without it feeling ever so slightly cheesy, essentially the aim is to sell oneself. I found the whole thing bemusing but I completed my rather generic looking profile, picked a suitable picture (my best side on show) and clicked save. That was that, done. What now? I browsed through some other users profiles and decided to use the search function to narrow down my man. Star sign? Not bothered. Career? Not fussed. Hair colour? Hmmm bit trickier so I went for dark. Age? No younger than 25 and no older than 45. That should do it. The results of my search flashed up on the screen and I clicked through each picture. No too short, no lives too far away, no smokes, maybe, no, no. Brutal eh? The no's kept coming so I got bored and logged off. A couple of days later I logged back in, interested to see whether I had any messages. There were a few in there, mostly short sentences from men such as 'Hello gorgeous', 'how are you?', 'You out for some fun baby?' Grammatical errors were rife, an immediate turn off. I thought about updating my profile to read 'Only literate people please!' What a snob!
Bingo
But there was one message that sparked my interest. This chap had taken the time to construct more than one sentence and it was a sweet message, introducing himself, asking what I did for a living, how long had I been on the site? Any dating disasters so far? I snooped his profile and he looked lovely, just my type although he lived 40 miles away. No big shakes I guess. So I responded with a message answering his questions and also posed some of my own. Being suspicious initially, I wanted to ask, 'So how many women have you met on here?','Do you have a chainsaw, duct tape and a mask in your boot?' but the polite me sent something back that was far more sedate.
We exchanged messages for a few weeks and I certainly liked the sound if him. Compared to the inane one word messages I was getting from the sexual opportunists that seemed to stalk the site, this chap had potential. So the day came when he suggested we meet. It was a Friday and I replied, 'sure!' We exchanged phone numbers that afternoon and he soon text me, asking if I wanted to meet that evening? 'Hmmm took quick perhaps, blimey he's keen' flashed through my head but I liked the spontaneity of it so accepted. We agreed to meet half way between where we lived so decided on a pub 20 miles north of me.
I got in from work, quickly had a bath, changed and did my unruly hair. I must admit it was pretty nerve wracking and was I relieved to get a text from him an hour before we were due to rendezvous, stating he was nervous too and making sure I was not a nutter (he even referenced a chain saw ha ha). Phew! I liked that he was so honest and that disarmed me.
Crunch time
So I drove to the pub and was running 5 minutes late so my date had already arrived. I did not mind being a bit late, it spared me that nervous wait. As soon as I exited my car a dark figure approached me and I knew it was him. We exchanged a nervous kiss on each cheek and went into the pub. I am pretty good at meeting new people and can talk the arse off a donkey so I was not worried about the conversation, not unless he was mute. To my relief we got on straight away and proceeded to have a lovely meal, a right giggle and we got on well. He was just my type, perfect!
We stayed until closing time and then came that awkward moment, to kiss or not to kiss? He did the chivalrous thing and gave me a peck on the cheek followed by a warm hug.
Success! To cut a long story sheet we started dating and were together for 8 months. Unfortunately the distance proved tricky plus some other negatives interjected our budding romance so we cut our losses. Sad ending right? But it was a reassuring introduction to the internet dating game.
I have not replicated this since though, I have been on a few more dates but nothing has come of it. No doubt I will give it another go, I hear of many couples who meet online that end up together. There is hope for this thirty something single gal :)
L xx
I am 32 years old now so I guess I am going to notice these things more than I did 10 years ago. I don't necessarily want the kiddies side of it but I would really like to meet someone again, I think it's nigh time after a few false starts. Mr 'almost right' is out there somewhere, getting on with his day and blissfully unaware I even exist.
Enough of that :) The reason for this post is to outline my experience of internet dating. I have tried it a few times and have had little success thus far. Had you asked me to post images of myself online 6 years ago, there would have been more chance of me agreeing to a sex change than advertising myself visually.
Dating in the cyber world
So you join a dating website and are asked to write a bit about yourself (hobbies, interests. you know the drill.) Every site I have looked at has listed a small piece of text stating you stand a much higher chance of success if you post at least one picture of yourself. Hmmmm ok, fair enough. It does make sense to some degree, we are visually driven creatures in many respects.
But I used to feel slightly uncomfortable with this. Now I have no problems with posting pictures of myself but under internet dating circumstances? I cannot help but feel it is like an internet based cattle market. Do I really want to be completely judged at first glance, just because of the way I look? No! The me of old was filled with terror at this prospect. Intrinsically it seems wrong but then I have since reminded myself that the same thing happens when you go to a bar or a club. I don't have a portfolio of my good points and personality traits that I can hand to potential suitors, you see someone you fancy and make the move. I guess internet dating picks that side of it up when you actually agree to meet. Will there or won't there be chemistry?
We all have a 'type', mine happens to be alpha males; rich, swollen wallet (ok I KID)
So tall (at least 6'0", does that make me heightest?), dark haired preferably, stocky/ sporty, intelligent, above all else witty. See, there are certainly some physical requirements in there.
Testing the water
So when I first reached my goal weight, I had been single for a fairly short period of time. Having exited an 8 year relationship and being 'taken' for most of my twenties, dating was a daunting prospect. Nevertheless, I found a suitable dating website and proceeded to fill out the obligatory profile information. It is never easy writing about yourself without it feeling ever so slightly cheesy, essentially the aim is to sell oneself. I found the whole thing bemusing but I completed my rather generic looking profile, picked a suitable picture (my best side on show) and clicked save. That was that, done. What now? I browsed through some other users profiles and decided to use the search function to narrow down my man. Star sign? Not bothered. Career? Not fussed. Hair colour? Hmmm bit trickier so I went for dark. Age? No younger than 25 and no older than 45. That should do it. The results of my search flashed up on the screen and I clicked through each picture. No too short, no lives too far away, no smokes, maybe, no, no. Brutal eh? The no's kept coming so I got bored and logged off. A couple of days later I logged back in, interested to see whether I had any messages. There were a few in there, mostly short sentences from men such as 'Hello gorgeous', 'how are you?', 'You out for some fun baby?' Grammatical errors were rife, an immediate turn off. I thought about updating my profile to read 'Only literate people please!' What a snob!
Bingo
But there was one message that sparked my interest. This chap had taken the time to construct more than one sentence and it was a sweet message, introducing himself, asking what I did for a living, how long had I been on the site? Any dating disasters so far? I snooped his profile and he looked lovely, just my type although he lived 40 miles away. No big shakes I guess. So I responded with a message answering his questions and also posed some of my own. Being suspicious initially, I wanted to ask, 'So how many women have you met on here?','Do you have a chainsaw, duct tape and a mask in your boot?' but the polite me sent something back that was far more sedate.
We exchanged messages for a few weeks and I certainly liked the sound if him. Compared to the inane one word messages I was getting from the sexual opportunists that seemed to stalk the site, this chap had potential. So the day came when he suggested we meet. It was a Friday and I replied, 'sure!' We exchanged phone numbers that afternoon and he soon text me, asking if I wanted to meet that evening? 'Hmmm took quick perhaps, blimey he's keen' flashed through my head but I liked the spontaneity of it so accepted. We agreed to meet half way between where we lived so decided on a pub 20 miles north of me.
I got in from work, quickly had a bath, changed and did my unruly hair. I must admit it was pretty nerve wracking and was I relieved to get a text from him an hour before we were due to rendezvous, stating he was nervous too and making sure I was not a nutter (he even referenced a chain saw ha ha). Phew! I liked that he was so honest and that disarmed me.
Crunch time
So I drove to the pub and was running 5 minutes late so my date had already arrived. I did not mind being a bit late, it spared me that nervous wait. As soon as I exited my car a dark figure approached me and I knew it was him. We exchanged a nervous kiss on each cheek and went into the pub. I am pretty good at meeting new people and can talk the arse off a donkey so I was not worried about the conversation, not unless he was mute. To my relief we got on straight away and proceeded to have a lovely meal, a right giggle and we got on well. He was just my type, perfect!
We stayed until closing time and then came that awkward moment, to kiss or not to kiss? He did the chivalrous thing and gave me a peck on the cheek followed by a warm hug.
Success! To cut a long story sheet we started dating and were together for 8 months. Unfortunately the distance proved tricky plus some other negatives interjected our budding romance so we cut our losses. Sad ending right? But it was a reassuring introduction to the internet dating game.
I have not replicated this since though, I have been on a few more dates but nothing has come of it. No doubt I will give it another go, I hear of many couples who meet online that end up together. There is hope for this thirty something single gal :)
L xx
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