As I have mentioned before in posts, 4 years on and I am not immune to receiving the odd, stark reminder of who I used to be. Last night I stayed in and watched some TV. It's a much cheaper option for me at the moment, I am being somewhat of a hermit but stashing some cash is the name of the game.
Whilst flicking through the rubbish that was on ( and that is a whole load of rubbish considering I have a choice of 90+ channels) I stumbled across a UK show called 'Fat Families.' It does what it says on the tin and centres around families who lead unhealthy lifestyles, stuffing down take aways and convenience food like there is no tomorrow. The extent of their exercise is usually walking to the front door to take delivery of the 5 take out meals they gorge on each week. The presenter is a reborn health freak and weight loss guru. Kudos to him as he had weight problems himself a few years ago before changing his life around through healthy eating and exercise. He is more than qualified to offer support and advice. If you can look past his flamoyant, over zealous , camp presenting style , he deserves much respect for 'melting that lard' (his tag line, not mine!)
So each episode he takes a fat family and attempts to help them change their unhealthy ways. Tonight was a family of four; a husband and wife, mother of that wife and grand mother of that wife (got that?)
They were all obese, ranging between 305 to 270 pounds each in weight.
I watched aforementioned presenter criticising their food choices, frequently breaking out into rallying cries and kitting out their house with a purpose built gym. He used shock tactics in the form of full Medicals for each member, something that always throws up scary result. The grandmother was told that there were signs of reduced liver function (fatty liver disease) and she proceeded to dissolve into tears.
As I watched I realised that I weighed around the same weight as the wife, who topped the scales at 300 pounds. She is shorter than me but anyone who weighs 300 has some weighty issues, regardless of height!
No disrespect to this woman but I thought to myself, 'did I really look that big ?' I must have done but I hardly looked at my reflection back then so I guess the proverb 'out of sight, out of mind.' could be applied. I ignored the reflection and in essence, ignored the problem. Even so, I tried to imagine myself back there again, tried to imagine what I would be like now if I had not done those thousands of miles of cardio (yup thousands, I worked it out the other night) and cleaned up my wayward eating habits. At the time I finally committed to losing the bulk, I was borderline for starting to develop some serious health problems. I really do shudder to think about what would have happened had I not changed things. Where would I be now (probably not too far from a cupboard stuffed with junk food.) and 7 stone heavier still.
Just like those people on the show, we have to realise that we do have the power to get it under control. Our bodies are our vessels through life, we have to care for them and ensure they are equipped to get us through this journey.
I am not sure why but my weightier past has been playing on my mind recently. Today, a friend and I went shopping. Mostly window shopping but we had a look around at various bits and pieces, wanting to expand our winter wardrobes. I found a pair of trousers (pants) I really liked and the shop assistant asked, 'what size are you?' Momentarily I froze! Not sure why, I wonder whether that larger girl was sitting only my shoulder, whispering her fears in my ear.
Turns out I fitted very nicely into a pair of size 10's (US size 8), a size I have been for a long while now. Weird eh? Perhaps not, I am never going to abandon the larger me completely. Had you told the larger me in 2005, that I would be shopping for size 10's, I would have been disbelieving .
I am tired yawn, good night world
L xx
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