I have noticed that there are lots of people around me who are settling down, getting engaged, starting families. Both my brothers are in long term relationships with one being happily married.
I am 32 years old now so I guess I am going to notice these things more than I did 10 years ago. I don't necessarily want the kiddies side of it but I would really like to meet someone again, I think it's nigh time after a few false starts. Mr 'almost right' is out there somewhere, getting on with his day and blissfully unaware I even exist.
Enough of that :) The reason for this post is to outline my experience of internet dating. I have tried it a few times and have had little success thus far. Had you asked me to post images of myself online 6 years ago, there would have been more chance of me agreeing to a sex change than advertising myself visually.
Dating in the cyber world
So you join a dating website and are asked to write a bit about yourself (hobbies, interests. you know the drill.) Every site I have looked at has listed a small piece of text stating you stand a much higher chance of success if you post at least one picture of yourself. Hmmmm ok, fair enough. It does make sense to some degree, we are visually driven creatures in many respects.
But I used to feel slightly uncomfortable with this. Now I have no problems with posting pictures of myself but under internet dating circumstances? I cannot help but feel it is like an internet based cattle market. Do I really want to be completely judged at first glance, just because of the way I look? No! The me of old was filled with terror at this prospect. Intrinsically it seems wrong but then I have since reminded myself that the same thing happens when you go to a bar or a club. I don't have a portfolio of my good points and personality traits that I can hand to potential suitors, you see someone you fancy and make the move. I guess internet dating picks that side of it up when you actually agree to meet. Will there or won't there be chemistry?
We all have a 'type', mine happens to be alpha males; rich, swollen wallet (ok I KID)
So tall (at least 6'0", does that make me heightest?), dark haired preferably, stocky/ sporty, intelligent, above all else witty. See, there are certainly some physical requirements in there.
Testing the water
So when I first reached my goal weight, I had been single for a fairly short period of time. Having exited an 8 year relationship and being 'taken' for most of my twenties, dating was a daunting prospect. Nevertheless, I found a suitable dating website and proceeded to fill out the obligatory profile information. It is never easy writing about yourself without it feeling ever so slightly cheesy, essentially the aim is to sell oneself. I found the whole thing bemusing but I completed my rather generic looking profile, picked a suitable picture (my best side on show) and clicked save. That was that, done. What now? I browsed through some other users profiles and decided to use the search function to narrow down my man. Star sign? Not bothered. Career? Not fussed. Hair colour? Hmmm bit trickier so I went for dark. Age? No younger than 25 and no older than 45. That should do it. The results of my search flashed up on the screen and I clicked through each picture. No too short, no lives too far away, no smokes, maybe, no, no. Brutal eh? The no's kept coming so I got bored and logged off. A couple of days later I logged back in, interested to see whether I had any messages. There were a few in there, mostly short sentences from men such as 'Hello gorgeous', 'how are you?', 'You out for some fun baby?' Grammatical errors were rife, an immediate turn off. I thought about updating my profile to read 'Only literate people please!' What a snob!
Bingo
But there was one message that sparked my interest. This chap had taken the time to construct more than one sentence and it was a sweet message, introducing himself, asking what I did for a living, how long had I been on the site? Any dating disasters so far? I snooped his profile and he looked lovely, just my type although he lived 40 miles away. No big shakes I guess. So I responded with a message answering his questions and also posed some of my own. Being suspicious initially, I wanted to ask, 'So how many women have you met on here?','Do you have a chainsaw, duct tape and a mask in your boot?' but the polite me sent something back that was far more sedate.
We exchanged messages for a few weeks and I certainly liked the sound if him. Compared to the inane one word messages I was getting from the sexual opportunists that seemed to stalk the site, this chap had potential. So the day came when he suggested we meet. It was a Friday and I replied, 'sure!' We exchanged phone numbers that afternoon and he soon text me, asking if I wanted to meet that evening? 'Hmmm took quick perhaps, blimey he's keen' flashed through my head but I liked the spontaneity of it so accepted. We agreed to meet half way between where we lived so decided on a pub 20 miles north of me.
I got in from work, quickly had a bath, changed and did my unruly hair. I must admit it was pretty nerve wracking and was I relieved to get a text from him an hour before we were due to rendezvous, stating he was nervous too and making sure I was not a nutter (he even referenced a chain saw ha ha). Phew! I liked that he was so honest and that disarmed me.
Crunch time
So I drove to the pub and was running 5 minutes late so my date had already arrived. I did not mind being a bit late, it spared me that nervous wait. As soon as I exited my car a dark figure approached me and I knew it was him. We exchanged a nervous kiss on each cheek and went into the pub. I am pretty good at meeting new people and can talk the arse off a donkey so I was not worried about the conversation, not unless he was mute. To my relief we got on straight away and proceeded to have a lovely meal, a right giggle and we got on well. He was just my type, perfect!
We stayed until closing time and then came that awkward moment, to kiss or not to kiss? He did the chivalrous thing and gave me a peck on the cheek followed by a warm hug.
Success! To cut a long story sheet we started dating and were together for 8 months. Unfortunately the distance proved tricky plus some other negatives interjected our budding romance so we cut our losses. Sad ending right? But it was a reassuring introduction to the internet dating game.
I have not replicated this since though, I have been on a few more dates but nothing has come of it. No doubt I will give it another go, I hear of many couples who meet online that end up together. There is hope for this thirty something single gal :)
L xx
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