Doing things differently; the penny finally dropped

Isn't it amazing the lengths people will go to lose weight. Faddy diets, obsessive exercise, starvation, purging, pills, supplements... even amphetamines!!
What is even crazier is that most of us know what we need to do to lose weight the healthy, natural way but it seems that half the time our rational, logical heads crash out of the window just when we need them most. If we are fully realistic then we should realise that healthy weight loss takes time and a bucket load of patience. The calculations are pretty simple on the whole and can be applied to most (but not all;) input vs output.

As an interjection to this post, I wanted to share with you my before and after vital stats. This gives you an idea of how much my body shape changed.

July 2005

Bust 44"
Waist 38"
Hips 56"

January 2011

Bust 35"
Waist 24 "
Hips 36"

We really do live in a 'I want it yesterday' culture and I think that can be partly attributed to the impatience we have with losing weight the au naturel way. I don't want you thinking I am getting on my high horse, I myself have not dieted sensibly historically, at least prior to my big weight loss. I have broken every rule in the book; purging (bulimia), starving myself, obsessively exercising. I have been to Weight Watchers, tried Slim Fast and none of these things have worked. Sure, I would drop some weight in the first few months but that kind of unbalanced diet will bite you in the butt eventually. I was your classic yo yo dieter; lose 10 pounds gain 20 back.

The penny dropped in 2005 and reality hit home, FINALLY. I had reached such an excessive weight that I could not afford to sabotage any weight loss success by not doing things in a measured and controlled way. Thanks goodness personal experience had taught me that 'extreme' dieting does not work. I knew it was make or break, the weight gain was in free fall and I felt like I had to reign it in otherwise I would be in serious trouble.

THE change

Healthy eating was a whole new world to me. At 301 pounds, I decided to plan how I was going to tackle the loss in a sustainable way. No more fannying around! My body had become a burden, this biological vessel was sinking and I wanted to abandon ship.

So I did some reading and armed myself with information. My knowledge of calorie intake and nutrition has always been pretty sound (ironically enough) although you would have not known it prior to 2006.
I structured an eating plan that would see me reduce my daily intake to 1500 calories initially. Considering I had been topping 3,000 some days, this was a dramatic reduction. I was mindful that I had to make sure the calories I did have were useful ones that would keep me full so I was less likely to crave the sweet, fatty, calorific foods I had been so accustomed to. I was careful to include porridge for breakfast, brown carbs for dinner (brown rice or pasta) with protein such as fish or chicken. Lunch would be a salad of some description ( always with a little bit of protein in there) and nuts.
I would snack on fruit and nuts If I felt at all peckish. For the first 6 months I was very strict, in my mind it is better to have no temptation at all and go cold turkey, at least for a while. For the first few months I was dropping impressive amounts of weight, around 22 pounds or so in one month alone. I think some of this was the release of fluid retention which is common. Along with the healthier eating, I had started to exercise from the first day I committed really. It started with 2 mile bike rides (at a very slow pace), gym sessions that consisted of walking on the treadmill, rowing and cycling and also walks around my local area, 3 times a week. This carried on for a few months as I did suffer some acute joint pain to begin with, not surprising considering the load that was impacting my joints couple with my hyper mobility condition.

Frustration

I distinctly remember one occassion where I was doing my 3 mile circuit walk. I must have been a month or so into the weight loss and I had got to the mile long hill that was in the middle of the route. Half way up and I started to cry. I can remember I found that hill incredibly hard going at the best of times, my heart would pound out of my chest, my calves would burn with lactic acid and the sweat poured down my face and back. I stood there in the rain and wept. I felt so frustrated, I thought about giving up and not bothering. I recall looking down at my massive thighs and feeling desperate for things to change quicker than they were. Patience Lorraine, Rome was not built in a day! I cannot really see why I was feeling so down, the weight had been coming off steadily and I had started to see a difference but I think it had all caught up with me. Nevertheless, I dug deep and plugged away. The commitment required to lose that kind of weight is pretty epic. There were so many occassions I could have screamed through sheer tiredness, frustration and disgust at myself but there was no room for self pity. I fully accepted it was my fault and my fault alone so it was down to ME to sort it out.

Getting there

After 6 months or so, I had dropped down from 301 pounds to around 215 pounds and I think that first 6 months saw the biggest weight loss in terms of dropping fat. It took a further 3 months of continuing the 1500 calories a day and regular exercise for me to really start seeing a difference in my body shape. As the exercise began to take effect, my cardio vascular system improved and so the walks lengthened and the gym sessions became tougher. Naturally I was responding to my increasing fitness levels and was pushing things harder without really realising. After 6 months I also relaxed the diet a bit and started to introduce treats back into the mix. I allowed myself one take away a week, on a Friday. I could have a chinese, indian or even a kebab but I made sure I chose healthier options from the menu....yes, it is possible! Instead of battered chicken I would go for boiled and instead of egg fried rice I would go for boiled rice. I looked forward to my little treats on a Friday and it meant that I did not feel so cheated out of the foods that had got me to 301 pounds in the first place. I still say that complete deprivation leads to failure...eventually. Don't deny yourself the things you like, just be sensible about it.

Gastronomic heroine

Weaning yourself off junk food is like weaning yourself off a drug in many respects. The body becomes accustomed to sugar and fat and so cutting that out of the diet can leave you craving the quick fix energy you would usually get. BUT the body does get used to it. I found that, after those first 6 months, my cravings for sugar had all but died a death. Initially, I did find it hard but I tried to supplement the chocolate and candy with grapes and strawberries. It did work although I suffered some withdrawl symptoms in the form of mood swings and tiredness. I remember the tipping point was when I walked into a local shop and saw my favourite sweets and chocolate bars in their shiny, inviting wrappers. I had absolutely no desire to buy one, instead choosing a bottle of flavoured mineral water. Which reminds me, I knocked back criminal amounts of coca cola when I was at my biggest. Again, I had to wean myself away from that (caffeine) but I replaced it with fizzy, flavoured mineral waters. It really did the trick, I was still getting the carbonated sensation in my mouth but I was consuming a fraction of the calories and still enjoying my fizzy drinks. Another useful tip.

Visual changes

So as we moved into the spring of 2006, I was starting to see the weight loss slow down somewhat. Perfectly understandable but I did not really hit any unbreakable plateaus. I can totally attribute this to the increasingly hard workouts I was doing. I went from being able to row for 5 minutes to rowing 20 at a time and my gym sessions were really starting to pay off. I recall that I really started noticing the weight loss in my face and shoulders. The soft layer of fat that had covered my collar bones was starting to disappear and, whilst getting ready for work one morning, I noticed there was some definition there. I could actually see my collar bones for the first time in years! Small steps but I felt really chuffed. My waist was shrinking as had my cloth size. I think I managed to drop 8 dress sizes in 9 months. Not bad going considering. I went from a UK size 24 (US 20) July 2005 down to a UK size 16 (US 12) by April of 2006. It proved to be a rather costly process, I had to keep down sizing my wardrobe but that was a small price to pay for the effects I was seeing.

People I had not seen for ages were shocked when they bumped into me. Some people even walked straight past me, deeming me totally unrecognisable. The nasty, fat comments had stopped and I even started to get some compliments. I cannot describe how much better I felt, my complexion was clearer, my energy levels were higher and I wanted to go out and socialise, be more active and enjoy life again. It was such a relief.

What I have written thus far in this post really does not do the hard work justice, I don't think a books worth of explaination could truly represent what I went through. It was bloody hard at times and I cannot tell you the number of occassions I could have happily jacked it in. I am fortunate in that I am incredibly stubborn and determined, when I put my mind to something I can really push out all the stops to achieve goals I set myself. Much of the emotion I felt was anger with myself, anger that I had allowed things to get so dire, anger that I had wasted most of my twenties (essentially the prime of my life) being fat and hiding away from the world. I felt like I had awoken from some strange, hypnotic state. I could stand back and totally see the extent of what I had done to my body.

In the next post I will describe how the weight loss continued and how my body really started to change. Had I not exercised the way I did, I really don't believe that I would be where I am today. More of that later....

I just hope this gives you a snippet of insight into what it was like

G'nite!

Rainy xxx