I have asked myself this question many a time over the past 3 years since I reached my goal weight. Happiness means different things to different people. You can be overweight but have a happy marriage, loving family and be completely fulfilled. Being thinner is certainly not the be all and end all and is very much dependent on what a person wants out of life.
Did I think that by losing weight and clawing my health and my body back, that it would cure me of my troubles and ills? I guess I cannot really answer yes or no to my title question. Losing weight has had so many benefits. I can move around freely now, I have no aches and pains, my blood pressure is considered to be within the normal range, my skin is better, I can exercise and push my body hard, my confidence has been restored. (Sorry if I have reiterated things there that I have gone over before.) Confidence comes from within though and I would never suggest that a person has to be slim to be confident. We all come in different shapes and sizes, what's right for one person might not necessarily be right for another.
Whilst you are absorbed in the loss phase, I don't think there is enough time to consider how it will change your life once the weight is off. I can categorically confirm it does change things and take some adjusting to.
Invariably there are things in my life that do still get me down, I guess I would be in denial if I claimed that everything is rosy! Then again we all have problems and worries, I guess I can focus on the environmental ones now the personal weighty ones are under control.
Sacrifice
I know that the experience I have gone through the last 10 years has taken a lot out of me and those around me. I am very fortunate to have loving friends and family who have been SO supportive throughout my larger days and the subsequent weight loss process. They have watched me train like a demon, put myself through punishing physical challenges, struggle with the relationship I had with food, initially cry through frustration when I hit a plateau or had down days. As we all know, losing weight can be draining; physically, mentally and emotionally. This can emulate itself on those around you.
Moving on
At this point in my life I am thinner yes, I have my health and I am the fittest I have probably ever been but I am having a job meeting the right man. Singledom has mostly reigned for 2 years now and I am ready for a relationship (I think!) despite outlining my ongoing paranoias in a previous post. Put me back to when I was 301 pounds and I was in a supportive, long term relationship with a man who loved me unconditionally despite the state I was in with body angst and possible mild depression due to the obesity.
I changed so much when I lost the weight, looking back this terminally crippled my relationship and drove the final nails in the proverbial coffin. I do feel guilty about that whole time period, my man was so supportive and never once berated me or cajouled me about my weight. There were obvious issues with our relationship that were heightened and brought to the fore front as I changed; the cracks widened into ravines.
Reflecting on this now, I don't regret the split. He is very happy and engaged to a lovely girl.
You often hear of this happening between couples when one person experiences a dramatic weight loss, he and I must be part of a statistic somewhere!
Quite honestly I think the changes I have gone through have been so dramatic that I have had to learn how to be this new version of myself and that takes time (2 years apparently :) ). That is perhaps why the relationship has not happened yet.
Another post to add to the collection!
If anyone reading this feels they need any support, a shoulder to cry or even advice, please do feel free to email me. Having experienced what I have, I would like the chance to share the burden with those people who are currently immersed in weight loss. I made be just a little bit ahead of you but every step of the journey is as clear as if it happened yesterday.
lossforlife@yahoo.co.uk
Good night all
L xxx
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